So I have called myself a widow in the title of this blog, but I have also lost my 18 year old son this past year. There is no name for that though. You can say, very neatly and concisely, I am a “widow”, and everyone knows what that means. They say, “Oh, I’m sorry”. But to try to say that I am a mother who has lost her son, or I had a son, but he died this year, or answer the question of “Do you have kids?” and try to stumble through the answer of yes, but one is dead. Not so easy. And then add in the answer of suicide, if someone asks how it happened. I have started this blog to write down some of the things that I have felt or experienced along the way while trying to deal with the loss of my husband. I don’t think I am ready to do that yet around the loss of my son. Perhaps I need to get one out before I can face the other. I don’t know. I am a work in progress…